After Buck had placed Ezra
on a chair he quickly put a kettle of water on the stove. He watched as
JD and Vin appeared in the doorway, looking with wide eyes at Ezra’s
cold, motionless form. He figured he might as well get them to help,
instead of sending them back to their room where they would only fret
over Ezra. “JD, go get some towels and Ezra’s blanket from his bed. Vin,
go put some more wood on the fire. We need to warm this place up.” The
two boys obeyed without a word.
Ezra had started to shake and Buck let out a relieved sigh. At least
Ezra’s body hadn’t given up the fight yet. In its own way it was trying
to generate some heat, but he was still critical. Buck picked up Chris’
bottle of whisky and poured a large shot.
”Here, Ezra, I want you to drink this,” he said and held the shot glass
to the boy’s bluish lips. Ezra swallowed the fiery liquid without a
twitch. Thanks to Maude, this wasn’t the first time he had been given
whisky. “Alright, Ez. Buck’s gonna get you warm in no time. Don’t you
worry none. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes first.” Buck kept up
a running commentary as he gently pried the bag from the numb arms, then
proceeded to strip the boy until he was completely naked. He noticed
Ezra was wearing his favorite shirt and vest and although he had the
urge to just rip the troublesome buttons off, he knew he couldn’t. Ezra
had been hurt enough for one day and this would just be another blow to
the shocked boy that he didn’t need. Instead he was forced to take his
time and gently undo each of the delicate buttons.
When he was done, Ezra was shaking so much and his teeth chattering so
hard against each other that Buck was afraid he was gonna chip a tooth.
He quickly swathed him in the blankets again, then pulled his bandanna
from his neck and rolled it tightly. He hated what he was about to do,
but knew he had to.
“Ezra, I’m gonna put this in your mouth, so you won’t hurt your teeth,
okay?” Ezra didn’t answer, not that Buck had expected him to, and he
carefully inserted the cloth between the boy’s teeth. Afraid that it
would fall out again he tied the ends behind Ezra’s head, just like a
gag. The sight made Buck cringe. “Just till you stop shaking so much,
okay?” Ezra bowed his head, and Buck gathered him into his arms, rubbing
the shaking body, trying to infuse some warmth in it. Chris entered,
bringing in a cold wind and Buck instinctively turned Ezra to shield
him.
“What do you want me to do, Buck,” Chris asked as he surveyed the
kitchen. JD and Vin were standing in the doorway, JD holding a bunch of
towels and a blanket and Vin with soot on his fingers. JD looked at him
with fear in his eyes and Vin with disdain. Chris felt his heart break,
but knew mending it would have to wait. Right now, Ezra was more
important.
“Get a chair over here by the fire and get those towels JD brought. We
need to warm up his hands and feet.” Chris quickly complied and Buck
sank down in the chair in front of the fire and settled Ezra in his lap.
He took one of the towels Chris gave him and started rubbing the cold
hands. Chris wrapped Ezra’s own blanket around the boy, then got down on
his knees and started rubbing Ezra’s feet gently. As soon as Ezra
stopped shaking Buck removed the gag from Ezra’s mouth. When Chris was
satisfied Ezra’s feet were starting to warm up again, he got up from his
position on the floor and went to Ezra’s carpetbag, where he searched
for a couple of minutes before he came up with two pairs of dry socks.
He gently put them on Ezra’s feet, then went and removed the whistling
kettle from the stove. He made a cup of strong coffee and laced it
liberally whisky. Ezra never looked up when he came back, and he gave
the cup to Buck, knowing Ezra didn’t need anymore agitation. Now wasn’t
the time to try and earn the boy’s forgiveness. There would be plenty of
time for that in the days to come.
“Thanks, Chris. Could you put the boys to bed? I’m gonna stay here with
Ezra for a while,” Buck said and started to feed Ezra the coffee. The
boy was starting to warm up again and he no longer looked critical. The
blue tinge had left him completely and the warmth of the roaring fire
and the extra blankets would soon dispel the rest of the cold.
Chris nodded and went to kneel in front of the two youngest. JD was
hugging the last towel tightly to his chest, almost on the verge of
crying again. Chris carefully reached out and gathered him into his
arms. “It’s okay, JD. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m sorry
for what happened today. I got angry at Ezra, but I never meant for him
to run away. I never meant to hurt him, do you understand?” All the
while talking to JD, he was looking at Vin, seeing the boy stare back at
him defiantly. At least he wasn’t afraid of him as he had feared.
“But…but he just wanted you to like him better. The gift was supposed to
make you like him better and not make him leave,” JD said, still upset
at what had happened and not understanding where it had gone wrong.
“I know, JD, I know: I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at him. But Ezra
destroyed something precious to me and I just reacted without thinking.
I was drunk and I did something I shouldn’t have done, when I yelled at
him. I’m sorry about that and I’m gonna talk to Ezra about it tomorrow.
I never meant for this to happen,” he repeated, hoping JD would calm
down.
“He didn’t paint Adam’s horse,” Vin said quietly from where he was
standing. He was starting to realize what had happened.
“What do you mean, Vin?” Chris asked and looked at the child in front of
him. He didn’t believe
any of the others had done it, but thought maybe Vin was trying to take
the blame. He wouldn’t let him do that, but he wanted them to know Ezra
wouldn’t be punished anymore either.
“Wasn’t Adam’s horse. Ezra made that one himself,” Vin said and pointed
at the blue horse still lying discarded on the kitchen floor.
“You don’t need to cover for him, Vin. I know it’s Adam’s horse, it’s
missing from its box, but it’s okay. What’s done is done, and I won’t
punish Ezra again. I don’t even blame him anymore. He didn’t know how
much I cared about it, and I certainly don’t care more about it than I
do about the three of you.”
“It ain’t Adam’s horse!” Vin repeated heatedly. He was starting to get
mad at Larabee now. Why couldn’t he understand Ezra hadn’t done anything
wrong. “Come on,” he said and grabbed Chris’ shirtsleeve. Chris picked
up JD and followed Vin into Ezra’s room, where Vin disappeared under the
bed for a moment. Chris deposited JD, who had seemed to have calmed
down, on the bed and knelt on the floor. Vin emerged, clutching a box in
his hands, which he gave to Chris. Then he crawled onto the bed to sit
next to JD, where they both could peer into the container Chris now held
in his hands.
Chris looked at the collection in the box. It contained several pieces
of wood, a small carving knife he didn’t know how Ezra had acquired, and
six carved wooden pieces, some only bearing a slight resemblance to a
horse. Others looked more like they should have, but were missing a leg
or two and one even lacked a head, where the knife had slipped. One bore
a dark splotch of dried blood and Chris suddenly remembered a couple of
days about two weeks ago, when Ezra had been wearing a small bandage on
his finger. Cut it while pealing potatoes, he had said, and Chris hadn’t
cared enough to verify it with Buck.
And there in the corner of the box, wrapped carefully in one of Ezra’s
fine silken handkerchiefs, sat Adam’s horse, looking the way it always
had, with its black coat and leather mane and tail.
“Ezra promised we could have the others,” JD said quietly from his perch
on the bed. He was holding Vin’s hand now, calmed by the other boy’s
presence and Chris’ quiet behavior. “Ezra said they weren’t no good
because he carved them wrong, but I don’t mind.”
Chris couldn’t tell if the last remark was directed towards him because
JD thought Chris hadn’t liked Ezra’s carving because it had been
imperfect, or if it was just JD’s honest opinion. He realized that it
probably was just that. The five-year-old wasn’t really smart enough for
subtle innuendos yet. It didn’t matter. The older man knew he had a lot
to make up for, not only to Ezra, but JD and Vin as well. A lot of trust
had been lost this evening.
“He was always very careful with it,” Vin said and pointed at Adam’s
horse. “Said we weren’t allowed to touch it, only look at it, and he
always put it back when he was finished. He only used it as a temple.”
Chris didn’t care to correct Vin. He just nodded slowly, the words not
really penetrating his guilt ridden and foggy mind anymore. He picked up
the horse and put it in his pocket, not caring whether it be scratched
or even broken should he sit on it. Somehow it wasn’t really important
anymore.
“Come on, let’s get you two to bed.” Chris put the box back down on the
floor and got up. He watched as the children jumped down and went to
their room. He followed more slowly, a lot of things on his mind.
When he entered their room, he saw JD hastily push a flat paper wrapped
package under his pillow, while Vin was holding an identical package in
his hands. He could see the name ‘Chris’ written in crooked, childlike
letters on the front of it just underneath the string, just like it had
been on Ezra’s.
Apparently all three children had wanted to give him and Buck something
today and he had ruined the big day completely. JD had looked almost
afraid as he had hidden his gift. Afraid, maybe, that Chris would yell
at him too, for having the audacity to give him a gift. Chris cringed at
the thought, but knew that was how Ezra was feeling right now. He was
beginning to realize the extent of the damage he had done tonight. He
had attacked Ezra for doing something all of them had thought had been a
good thing, in fact was a good thing. While confirming Ezra’s belief
that people couldn’t be trusted, he had turned everything Vin and JD
knew about life and people upside down. Now neither of them knew where
they stood anymore.
“That for me?” Chris asked and nodded towards the package. He looked at
Vin, awaiting his reaction to his question. Of all the children Vin was
the hardest to figure out which way he would jump in a given situation.
Most of the time he knew because they were so alike in mind and spirit,
but sometimes Vin would surprise him by doing something completely
unexpected.
Vin had always seemed to dislike the older, Southern boy, not always
understanding his fancy language and probably feeling a bit intimidated
by the older boy’s schooling. He had picked up on Chris’ obvious dislike
for Ezra, although the reasons were different, his mostly fuelled by the
boy’s overconfidence and criminal past as well as the fact the Judge had
almost forced him on them. Vin had been even harder pressed to like
Ezra, as the man he looked up to the most, had made it perfectly clear
Ezra wasn’t worth wasting time on. Chris sighed, feeling very, very old
all of a sudden.
“It was,” Vin answered his question, still looking Larabee straight in
the eye, “but I don’t want you to have it anymore. I want Ezra to have
it.” He never took his eyes of Chris’, but the gunslinger could almost
feel the tension radiating off the small body in front of him. It was
the first time Vin had ever stood up to him like this. But for some
reason Chris felt a small weight lift from his shoulders, knowing that
when push came to shove, Vin would do the right thing and stand by his
brother. Even if it meant going against the man he loved the most. With
all that had happened tonight, the bond between the three stepbrothers
had been strengthened.
“That’s good, Vin. I think Ezra would like that very much.” Vin held his
gaze a little longer, then dropped it and put his package on the floor,
next to Buck’s. Chris knew instinctively that his apology had been
accepted. They still had a long way to go to get back to the easy
relationship they had once enjoyed, but Vin had given Chris his
permission to try.
Chris helped Vin into his nightgown and tucked him in, then turned to
help JD. The five-year-old was still sitting on his bed, staring
wide-eyed at Chris and Vin. When he realized Chris was looking at him,
he gulped and looked down at his hands clasped in front of him. Chris
waited a moment, knowing JD was trying to gather his courage to say
something. The events of the evening had been very hard on the
youngster, but Chris also knew he would be the first to bounce back.
“I…I want Ezra to have mine, too,” JD whispered and pulled his slightly
crumbled package out from under his pillow and held it out. Chris took
it and placed it on the floor next to Vin’s, before he straightened up
and ran a hand through the boy’s hair mussing it up, bringing forth a
small smile.
“Why don’t you give it to Ezra tomorrow as well, JD. I know he will be
very happy to learn he’s got such great brothers.” That earned him
another happy smile, and JD willingly let Chris undress him and help him
into his nightgown.
“Ezra won’t have to leave, will he,” JD spoke up, as Chris tucked him
into his blankets. “It was all our fault. We made him do it. Ezra didn’t
want to. He said his mother told him not to do nice things for other
people unless they paid him, and Ezra didn’t think you would pay him.
But we told him you would like him better and wouldn’t send him away if
he did nice things like making presents and Ezra said that it might make
his stay nicer until his mother came and got him again. Will his mother
come and get him?” JD finally stopped for a breath, followed by a huge
yawn.
“ No, JD, Ezra’s mom won’t come and get him, and he won’t have to leave
either. I was drunk today, and I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have
said, a lot of things I didn’t mean. You’re absolutely right, he did
something very nice and I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I owe him a big
apology, like I owe the two of you an apology.”
“But you didn’t yell at us,” JD stated.
“No, I didn’t, but I did behave very badly. I shouldn’t drink like that
when Buck isn’t around and there is no excuse for it. It got Ezra into
trouble, although he didn’t deserve it, and Buck is very mad at me right
now, which I do deserve. But now you two better get some sleep. I’ll
take your chores tomorrow, so you won’t have to get up early, and then
you can spend the rest of the day with Ezra, okay?” Satisfied when he
received two nods in answer, he kissed each of them and left the room.
He went back to the kitchen where he found Buck still holding a sleeping
Ezra in front of the fire.
“How is he doing?” he whispered, although he was fairly sure Ezra
wouldn’t hear it even if he raised his voice. The child was exhausted.
“Got chased from his home, almost died, how do you think he’s doing? “
Buck said accusingly, rocking the boy slowly from side to side on his
knees. He wasn’t ready to forgive Chris just yet.
“I know, Buck, I know. I never should have reacted that way. I was drunk
and hurting. The snow made me think of Adam and I couldn’t find his
horse. So I started to drink. When Ezra showed me his horse, I mistook
it for Adam’s and everything went to hell.” Chris ran a hand through his
already unruly hair, then buried his face in his hands with a tired
sigh.
“I know you still miss Adam, Chris. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. I
miss him, too. But now we got three other boys in our lives. Ain’t none
of them had an easy life, not even Ezra, for all his airs and graces,
and all of them deserve it more than anything. If I ever catch you
drinking again when the boys are around, or hurting them like you did
today, I won’t hesitate to take them all away and raise them myself. And
I will shoot you, if you try to stop me, you got that, pard?” Buck said
with steel in his voice.
“I got it.” Chris didn’t have to look up to know Buck was deadly
serious. He loved the boys as much as Chris did, and he had been the
first to accept Ezra. He would protect him just as fiercely as the other
two. For many years he had endured Chris’ drunken and irrational
behavior without complaint, but things had changed the day they had
taken over the responsibility of one, then two and now three small boys.
He wouldn’t tolerate anyone hurting his family, not even Chris.
They sat in silence for another ten minutes, looking at the sleeping boy
and enjoying the last warmth from the dying fire. Chris noticed Buck’s
gentle rocking had turned into shifting the boy from knee to knee, as he
tried to keep his legs from falling asleep.
“You need a hand there?” Chris asked and held his arms out towards Ezra.
Buck contemplated the situation for a moment. He was unwilling to give
Ezra up, but he found he couldn’t move without doing so or waking the
boy up. Grudgingly he gave Ezra over to his friend, only to take him
back as soon as he was upright.
“Gonna let him sleep in my bed tonight, so I’ll be there when the
nightmares start,” Buck said and stepped around Chris, not offering him
a goodnight. Chris hadn’t expected one. He knew he would be in the
doghouse for a while to come.
Quietly he started to tidy up the kitchen. He shook his head as he
recalled what JD had said earlier. That Ezra was just waiting for his
mother to come and collect him again. He wondered if Ezra, in the four
months he had been there, had ever thought of it as home, or of the
others as his family. Probably not, Chris admitted in defeat. He
wouldn’t have had any trouble picking up the antagonism toward him
coming from Chris, and the boy knew who was the boss of this household.
That was until Buck put his foot down, anyway.
Ezra was a smart boy, much smarter than a boy his age should be, that
was one of the things that had ticked Chris off in the beginning. That,
along with his criminal past, his cocky attitude, and his extended
vocabulary, led to the fear that he would turn JD and Vin into miniature
Ezras. The boy had seemed completely self-serving and Chris had feared
it would rub off on the younger boys. Tonight he realized he had no
reason to be worried. No reason at all. Ezra wasn’t rubbing off on them,
except in a good way. Like the fact that Vin now knew how to spell Chris
with an H and not ‘Cris’ like he had before. Instead JD and Vin were
rubbing off on Ezra, teaching him it was okay to be good, to do good
things. That was, until Chris blew it all.
He picked up the pieces of the horse Ezra had made for him and studied
them. It was obvious now that it had been made by a child. The square
legs, the too thin neck and the funny looking head were all testament to
that. But a lot of love had been put into it as well. In contrast to the
horse Chris had made, this one had real horsehair for a mane and tail,
glued on to thin leather strips that were in turn glued on to the
horse’s neck and rump. It had been carefully painted all over, the
hooves black, making them stand out from the blue paint that covered the
rest of the body. For the first time Chris noticed the small letters
underneath the hooves, spelling out Ezra’s name. He wondered why Ezra
had written his own name instead of Chris’ whom the horse was supposed
to belong to, then realized it was another remnant of his mother’s
upbringing. He was imitating artists from the galleries he had excitedly
told Buck about over dinners, while Chris had only listened with half an
ear.
The whole thing, from beginning to end, would have taken Ezra weeks to
finish. It had cost him blood, sweat and tears. Blood, from when he had
cut his fingers, and Chris guessed it had happened more than once
judging from the severed legs on some of the other horses. Sweat from
the toil of carving it, and tears from the reception it had received.
Ezra had finally gone against his mother’s training and tried to do
something nice, without expecting money for it, and it had nearly gotten
him killed.
Closing his eyes, Chris sat down on a chair, knowing he had a hell of a
lot to make up for with the boy. Ezra was part of his family now, and
for the first time, that fact didn’t bother him anymore. Buck was right,
Adam was an important part of Chris’ life. He would always be so, but
Adam was dead and Ezra was not. The way he acted towards the living was
more important than the way he acted towards the dead, because it could
ultimately kill the living.
That was where Ezra found him the next morning, fast asleep at the table
with his head resting on his arms and the cursed horse that had started
it all cradled in his hands. Ezra had the sudden urge to flee again,
just grab his carpetbag, which was still resting on the floor and leave.
Run back to Four Corners as fast as he could and take the noon stage far
away from here. But he had already proven that he wasn’t strong enough
for that, at least not in ten inches of snow. And he had no wish to
repeat last night’s performance. Not to mention the brush with death at
the teeth of a mad dog. He had woken up several times through the night,
sweating and crying, seeing the huge monster lunge for him, only to find
himself next to Buck. The older man would gather him into his arms until
he fell asleep again, all the while rubbing his back soothingly and
whispering in his ear that he was safe.
Ezra had silently decided to stay next to Buck for the rest of the day
until he was taken back to town and put on the stage. But a thirst
beyond parched had forced him from his hibernation to go in search of
water. Last night he thought he would never feel warm again, but the
combined body heat from him and Buck and two blankets on top had done a
lot to dehydrate him through the night.
Now, as he watched Larabee awaken on his chair, he wished he had never
left the bed. He wanted to run back to Buck, to his protector, but his
legs just wouldn’t obey him as Chris raised a sleepy head to look at
him. He quickly turned his gaze towards the floor, wondering if Larabee
would start yelling at him again. He felt, more than saw, Chris get up
from his chair and crouch in front of him.
“You okay, Ezra?” Chris asked quietly and placed a hand on the boy’s
forehead.
Ezra nodded, enduring the touch but wondering what was going on. If he
didn’t know better, it almost seemed like Larabee was concerned…for him.
“Don’t think you’ve got a fever, you’re just a bit warm. But you
probably shouldn’t be out of bed yet. You thirsty, Ez?”
Again, Ezra just nodded. The less he could do to aggravate the
gunslinger the better.
Chris got up from his crouching position and went to get a glass from
the cupboard. He filled it with cold water from the inside pump and
carried it back to Ezra, who gingerly took it and quickly gulped down
half the contents. He drank the rest more slowly, then turned to place
it on the sink. Chris plucked it from his hands, refilled it and brought
it back to Ezra.
“Ezra, you and me need to have a little talk. I got something important
to tell you. Why don’t we go into your room, so Vin and JD won’t disturb
us when they wake up?”
Ezra nodded silently and turned towards his room. He knew what was
coming. He had had that talk plenty of times before. ‘I’m sorry, Ezra,
especially after we promised your mother - what a lady by the way - but
for some reason you just don’t seem to fit in our family. We can’t
provide for you any longer, but don’t worry, we have already found
somewhere else for you until your mother will be able to pick you up
again. You’ll leave on the stage later this afternoon.’ It was always
the same speech, with slight variations. The reasons for it would also
be slightly different. He would have tried to teach the children how to
play poker, like he had done here with JD. Or he would have conned the
children out of their allowance, which he had also tried, but Vin had
seen through him immediately and JD wasn’t paid anything. Or else his
mother would have conned the family, which happened quite often. In any
case, he just didn’t fit into the family for some reason. He guessed
that last one was the one he would hear today, unless Larabee was still
mad at him for trying to teach JD poker. He briefly wondered if he would
be sent to some other ‘relatives’ or if he would be put in an orphanage
again, then decided it didn’t really matter. His mother would find him
again. She always did. He crawled onto the bed and sat with his hands
clasped in his lap, his legs dangling down the side and his gaze on
them, waiting for the speech.
Chris had brought in a chair from the kitchen and sat down opposite him,
placing a hand on Ezra’s knee. Ezra flinched. He always felt
uncomfortable when someone touched him during a confrontation, since it
gave him less space to maneuver in, should he need to get away quickly.
Chris seemed to recognize that and quickly removed his hand. Instead he
placed his elbows on his legs and clasped his hands in front of him,
peering into Ezra’s downcast face.
“Ezra, I need to give you an apology and try to explain what happened
last night.” Ezra opened his mouth to agree, then closed it again when
the words registered. He chanced a quick peek at Larabee’s face, but the
man looked sincere, even contrite. Ezra looked down again, continuing
his exploration of his fingers, not knowing what else to do. No one had
ever bothered to apologize like this to him before.
“I know Buck’s told you about my son Adam, and that some days when I
think of him and his mother I get in a bad mood. When that happens you
and JD and Vin should stay away from me.” Ezra nodded. He had known
that, and Vin had even warned him yesterday, but he had ignored it when
he probably shouldn’t have.
“The horse you used as a template, this one” Chris said and fished
Adam’s black horse out from his pocket and showed it to Ezra. Ezra felt
his cheeks burn at the sight of it. He had meant to put it back before
Chris noticed it was gone, but he had been so excited about finally
finishing his own horse, that he had forgotten.
“This horse is one of the few things I have left from Adam. I made it
for him when he was four, and he loved it. Used to carry it around with
him everywhere he went. I sometimes take it out to remember the good
times we shared. When you gave me your horse, I thought it was Adam’s
horse you had taken and painted over. I didn’t think you had the skill
to make such a fine horse. More importantly, I was drunk and didn’t
think clearly. I got mad over something I should have been really happy
about, and I’m sorry. Making that horse for me was a real nice thing to
do and I appreciate it. I hope you can forgive me for being an idiot.”
Ezra nodded dumbfounded. Sure he could do that, if it would make Larabee
feel better. He couldn’t see the harm in it since he would be leaving in
a couple of hours anyway, and he wasn’t really a revenge kind of guy.
Mother always said revenge only led to rash decisions, and spending time
on plotting revenge would be time spent away from plotting something
much more lucrative.
“I’m real glad about that. You’re a good kid, Ez, and you didn’t deserve
the treatment you got yesterday. I want you to promise me one thing,”
Chris waited until Ezra looked up before he continued. “If I ever act
like a complete jerk again, and I can’t promise you that it won’t happen
again, but if it does, I want you to go get Buck and tell him what
happened. If he ain’t around I want you to go wait for him before you do
something yourself. I promise you that Buck will kick my ass and he’ll
make sure you get ringside tickets, son.” This brought a tiny smile to
Ezra’s face, not just the promise, but the fact that Larabee had called
him son. It had been a long time since anyone had called him that with
any kind of affection. Chris was smiling as well, holding out his hand.
Ezra tentatively brought out his own and Chris engulfed it in his large
hand and they shook on it. “Deal?”
“Deal.”
“Why don’t you get some rest? You’re up awfully early and I know you’re
not a morning person.”
“Does this mean my departure will be postponed?”
The smile fell from Chris’ face and he turned towards Ezra.
“There’ll be no departure, Ezra, I promise you. I know you’ve been with
a lot of families before, but this is different. Maude ain’t coming
back. She’s in prison, where she’s gonna be for a long time. And when
she gets out you’ll be old enough to decide where you wanna be yourself.
Okay?”
“I won’t have to leave? Even if you tell me to?” Ezra wanted to be
certain. He knew Buck had told him the same thing before, but he still
needed to hear the words from Chris. He also knew Buck was only half of
this family, and while Vin had finally accepted him, Chris was still the
one who made the major decisions. Until yesterday, that was. Ezra still
remembered Chris taking orders from Buck without a word of complaint,
getting down on his knees to dry Ezra’s feet and making coffee for them
without having anything himself. He knew Buck was really mad at Chris,
madder than he had ever seen him before. Chris never said anything, he
simply obeyed Buck’s orders.
“No, Ezra, even if I tell you to, you don’t have to leave. You just go
get Buck, or even Josiah or Nathan, and they will fix things. You got
that, pard?”
“Yes.”
“Good, now go to sleep. The two tornadoes will be up in a while and
since you all have the day off, while I’ll be doing your chores, I know
they’ll want your company.”
Ezra groaned, not knowing what was worse, having Vin ignore him
completely, or suddenly being included in all of the younger boys’
activities. Those activities could range from fishing to mud wrestling,
to learning to fly from the rafters of the barn. No, Ezra knew. He would
take mud wrestling and rabbit tracking any day, over being an outcast.
With thoughts of the day to come filling his mind, he let Larabee tuck
him in and then fell asleep.
Epilogue
Chris stood on the porch, his elbows resting on the rail and his breath
forming a white plume in front of his face. It was a week after the
almost fatal incident with Ezra, and he now stood watching as the three
children tried to put a third ball of snow on the snowman they were
making. Well, Vin worked. JD was already decorating the two other balls
with twigs and rocks and whatever else he could find under the snow and
Ezra was supervising while making comments on what Vin could do to get
the giant snowball up there.
It had been a hell of a week. When Ezra had woken up after their talk,
Vin and JD had immediately found him in the kitchen and presented their
gifts to him. He had been a bit apprehensive at first about accepting
them, knowing they had originally been for Chris, who had been in the
kitchen with them. But the gunslinger and Buck had encouraged him to
take them and he had finally acquiesced. He had opened JD’s first, since
the younger boy had practically shoved his present in Ezra’s face,
wanting him to open it. Ezra had stared long and hard at the colorful
doodle JD had made, complimenting him on the excellent choice of colors
and the exquisite shapes, before JD had proudly told him it was a
drawing of Chris’ horse Pony. They had all looked at the swirling mass
of blue, green and red colors wondering exactly where Chris’ black horse
was supposed to be, but no-one had disputed the five-year-old’s claim.
Instead Ezra had thanked him profusely and promised to put the picture
up on his wall.
Vin’s picture had a more pronounced effect. It was a picture of the
whole family, with Buck and Chris on the outside. Vin was standing next
to Chris, JD was next to Buck, and in the middle stood Ezra, holding Vin
and JD’s hands. They all knew the picture had been drawn long before
Ezra ran off, and it finally proved to the older boy that he was a part
of their family. Ezra had to turn around for a moment to gather his
composure and wipe away a few tears, before he turned back around and
thanked Vin. The Texan was happy for the response, knowing Ezra had read
the message in the picture. They had spent the rest of the day indoors,
since Ezra still hadn’t quite shaken the feeling of being cold.
It wasn’t until after supper the next day, that the youngest boys had
finally managed to convince Ezra that it would be safe to give Buck his
gifts, and so they had all brought their packages to the table. Ezra had
decided to wait until last, no doubt wanting to judge Buck’s reactions
to the other boy’s gifts first. Chris didn’t blame him. He was sad that
he had shaken the boy’s confidence that much, but he hoped Ezra would
get it back soon enough. He didn’t like the scared little Ezra much, he
would rather have the cocky, irritating one back again, even though he
would never admit it out loud.
JD, as always, had volunteered to go first. This time he had
concentrated on the reds and yellows, making the whole picture a flaming
sea. Buck had held up the picture with a proud smile on his face,
congratulating JD on his fine work. That was until JD told him
indignantly he was holding it upside down. The little artist proudly
explained it was a picture of him and Buck together on Buck’s horse.
Four heads bent over the picture studying it intently. They quickly gave
up trying to figure it out. Instead Buck picked up JD and threw him over
his shoulder, before he proceeded to swing him around himself drawing
peels of laughter from the boy.
Vin’s was a painting of Buck and Inez, the feisty barmaid at the saloon
in town where the regulators normally hung out. Buck had been trying to
court her for months on end, but she steadfastly refused any of his
offers or suggestions. That didn’t mean Buck had the sense to give up,
though. It just meant he got more creative. The picture showed a scene
Vin had witnessed almost three months ago, when Inez had thrown a full
pitcher of beer after Buck, to ‘cool him off’. Buck had affectionately
growled at Vin for bringing that episode up again, then tickled him
until the boy was so out of breath he had to call ‘uncle’.
No one had missed how Ezra had moved behind the others and closer to the
door, when Buck had gotten to his present. Once Buck was holding the
unwrapped gift in his hands, Ezra had uncertainly explained that it was
supposed to be a hatband, and that Josiah had showed him how to make it.
Buck hadn’t said anything, just squatted down and opened his arms wide.
Ezra had looked uncertain for a moment, then moved into the hug, as Buck
had thanked him for the beautiful gift. When he let go of Ezra he had
quickly taken off the old hatband and replaced it with Ezra’s, and Chris
had reassured him it looked mighty fine there.
The next day, Chris had approached Ezra with the pieces of his own gift
in his hand. He had told Ezra that he would be real happy if they could
work on it together and restore it to its former glory. Ezra had been
most inclined to just throw it out, but Chris had insisted that even if
Ezra didn’t want to have anymore to do with it, Chris would still keep
it, just the way it was. Finally Ezra had relented and gone to get his
glue and paint. Together they had glued back the broken legs and head,
and with some of Chris’ sandpaper they had evened out some of the rough
spots and then painted it over again. Much to Ezra’s surprise and
delight, Chris had opted to place it on the fireplace next to Adam’s
horse, where they could keep each other company and always remind Chris
of the great boys he had. Encouraged by the good work they had done on
Chris’ damaged horse, JD had brought out his own broken horses and told
them to fix them. With a smile they had agreed and Chris and Ezra had
spent the evening gluing, sandpapering, painting and swapping stories
and advice about carving. Chris had found that Ezra was always eager to
learn more, and he had found the time in the shack had gone by faster
than in a long time. He also knew that it wasn’t just horses that had
been mended that day. His relationship with Ezra had also taken a big
step in the right direction. When they had finally finished, Chris had
offered to put the six horses with Ezra’s and Adam’s on the shelf to
make a small herd. JD had looked at him like he was insane, then fled
into his room with his arms full of his toys, where crazy adults
couldn’t take them away from him, much to Ezra and Chris’ amusement.
It had been three days after the incident before Chris finally made it
back to town again. Buck had already been back to take patrol and buy
supplies, and Chris should have known his friend would have told their
other friends about what had happened. He wasn’t quite ready for the
response he got, though. Gloria Potter had refused to say a word to him,
not even a ‘good afternoon’ as she always did, when he had been in to
buy some candy for the boys and a book for Ezra. He had picked out a
dime store novel for Ezra, figuring that the boy would read anything and
he really didn’t know what else was in Ezra’s taste. When he had put it
on the counter Mrs. Potter had taken it away before he could protest.
She picked out a copy of Charles Dickens’ ‘David Copperfield’ and put it
with his purchases instead. She had glared at him, daring him to make a
comment, but Chris had wisely kept his mouth shut and bought the book,
not wanting to get into any more trouble. Judging from Ezra’s delighted
smile later on, he had done the right thing.
Chris had hardly made it outside before he was almost trampled by Mary
Travis. Unlike Mrs. Potter, the town reporter didn’t mind making her
opinion of Chris’ behavior known loud enough for everyone else to hear.
She berated him as he tried to make his patrol in town. Chris had fled
into the saloon only to find himself at the end of a shotgun. Inez
Recillos had taken a shine to the fancy dressed boy who had made himself
at home in her saloon when he had first arrived with his mother. Even
though boys his age normally didn’t have any business in a saloon, Inez
had quickly recognized Ezra’s familiarity with such places and decided
just to keep an eye on him. He had quickly proven to be quite an adept
poker player and when he had offered Inez ten percent of his winnings
for being allowed to stay in the saloon, the fiery Mexican woman had
been sold. Now, whenever Ezra came into town, he would pop over to meet
Inez in the saloon, maybe play a game or two with whoever was fool
enough to take his challenge, and help Inez with cleaning the glasses or
getting liquor from the basement. Ezra being in the saloon was another
of those small things that use to annoy Chris. He didn’t want the boys
around when he was drinking in the saloon, afraid something like what
had happened with Ezra would happen there. But now he accepted that Ezra
was actually safer there, no matter how drunk Chris was, than he was
alone at home. Inez had proven that when she had escorted him out the
door and told him not to set foot in her saloon again until Ezra was
with him, so she could hear from him personally if Chris had made a
proper apology. Throwing Chris out of the saloon meant more to Inez than
it seemed. Her saloon had always been the peacekeepers’ favorite place
and the folks in town knew it as well. It meant that all of the local
rebel rousers avoided the place and it was the most peaceful and
prosperous saloon in town. Inez risked losing a lot of customers if
Chris suddenly decided to take his drinking somewhere else, since he
knew the other peacekeepers would follow him. They watched each other’s
backs, no matter where. But Chris wasn’t interested in finding another
place. He had spent less than an hour in Digger Dan’s before the noise
and general bad atmosphere in the place had driven him away. He was
resolute in his determination to bring Ezra back with him as soon as
possible, so Inez would let him out of the doghouse. His troubles still
hadn’t been over, though, since it hadn’t taken long before he had met
Nathan and Josiah, who had given him a piece of their minds as well.
Josiah had looked ready to knock him out and it had taken quite a lot of
groveling to get the big man to settle down. Who knew that Ezra had made
so many friends in town? Not even Ezra himself, Chris guessed.
Buck still hadn’t forgiven him, but they were working on their
friendship. Chris had been forced to give a lot of promises to the other
man, especially regarding Ezra and drinking, but Chris was confident
they could work it out. They had been partners for too long to throw it
away, even over something as serious as this had been. Chris knew that
Buck realized that he had learned a hard lesson this time.
Chris was brought out of his musings by a loud yell from Ezra. He looked
up to see Vin being knocked down by the giant snowball as it slipped
from his fingers just as he had pushed it to the top. It broke into
several pieces, covering the downed boy. Ezra quickly ran to his side,
brushing away snow and Chris stepped off the porch to go see if Vin had
been hurt. His breath hitched in his throat as he heard Ezra curse, then
relaxed again as he saw Vin’s arm snake around Ezra’s back and dump a
handful of snow down the other boy’s collar. In no time the two boys
were wrestling in the snow, trying to wash each other in it, while JD
completely ignored them. He seemed to have figured out that Vin would
never manage to get the last snowball on top of the snowman, for he had
already made eyes and a mouth on the second ball and was working on
pressing one of the horses’ carrot’s in place as a nose.
Yep, life was good, Chris decided and stepped back inside to make some
warm coffee. Ezra would be back inside in no time, now that he was wet
and would need something warm. He would probably want to spend the rest
of the afternoon in front of the fireplace, reading his new book and
listening to Chris cook dinner. JD would be inside in a short time as
well, knowing that Ezra would be reading and wanting to be read to. Vin
would be a bit longer, but after he had checked the horses and made sure
there wasn’t anything else out there that needed his attention, he would
join his brothers as well, listening to Ezra and even taking over later
on when JD was in bed, so he could practice his own reading skills.
